yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
