Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
