Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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