I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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