you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
