You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
