i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
