and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
