Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There r osticjed everywhere
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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