Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
