Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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