why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have feelings that need drinking.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
