i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
