I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
well you can't waste a boner
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
