Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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