I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
