hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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