he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My feet surprised me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
