how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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