my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
