were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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