We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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