i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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