so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
