I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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