Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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