I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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