This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
