TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
