my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize