I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
