dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
