i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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