i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
