Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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