You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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