I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize