my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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