If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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