Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
