You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
