I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize