its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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