i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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