I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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