Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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