No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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