I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
