Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
