Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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