Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
