I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think my mom watched the whole time
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
