What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
