Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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