He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
