just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
