Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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