You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize