We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
