So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
